627 - Swami Tejomayananda

Thursday, July 22, 2021. 7:22. AM.

The fabric of society is built with the building blocks of family units. Each jiva is born into a family and the majority, grow up in the same family, surrounded by their loved ones  parents, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. There are of course, a few who do not have this privilege. Generally we find that despite the deep love that family members share, living together poses problems that arise from a host of negativities like anger, possessiveness, greed, and jealousy. Court rooms are full of cases, the highest percentage of which are between members of the same family.

An individual comes into this world to fulfill his own destiny, for a purpose. It just so happens that members of a family live in the same house. For example while travelling we do not know who will be on the plane with us. On a flight, the one karma common to all is that all aboard wanted to travel on that particular flight on that day. Each one has a different goal, destination, and purpose for travel. Members of a family are like fellow travellers, brought together by a common karma. We get down at different places and go our own way. Therefore, we should take a more objective standpoint and remove the ‘i’-ness and ‘my’-ness from our minds.

In the parent-child connection we find that this sense of belonging is very strong and difficult to overcome. As Khalil Gibran said, children, ‘come through you, they don’t belong to you.’ Like the arrow, which comes through the bow but does not belong to that bow; it just follows its own course.

To achieve this state of equilibrium, we need to begin with ourselves. We cannot change the world but we can change ourselves. Parents ask, “Swamiji, when and how should we teach values and culture to our children?” My answer is, “Before the child is born. You should have the values in you. Only then your child will imbibe them.”

The Gita states that people follow the leader. In society, the rest follow the standards set by elders. In the family, parents are leaders. If we want our children or others around us to follow a particular ideal, then we must also live in the same way. Begin with yourself and see the change happen around you.

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